"5 Common Marital Issues and Marriage Counseling Tactics to Combat Them"


Couple in therapy

     Relationships are wonderful, but they can turn into something unpleasant if you allow the problems you have to fester over time. You can improve this situation by taking a moment to address each issue one at a time. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, marriage is very different today than it used to be, and divorce rates are extremely high. Learning how to cope when you and your partner are struggling in your marriage will ensure that you can remain together for many years to come.

     Below are 5 common marital issues followed by ways to alleviate these issues.


     One common complaint that many couples have is that there is a breakdown in communication. For this problem, try the following:
  • Realize that communication is the problem, and put an effort into improving it.
  • Set a time that you will sit down and talk about the problems after the kids have gone to bed.
  • Make sure that the television and radio are off. After all, you can’t communicate while you’re checking your email, watching TV, or flipping through the sports section.
  • Get Professional help from a therapist. Effective communication is a learned skill.

     Some couples used to have a very active sex life, but as time went by, one person’s need for sex began to diminish while the other partner’s drive remained the same. Author Mary Jo Fay says, “Sex brings us closer together, releases hormones that help our bodies both physically and mentally, and keeps the chemistry of a healthy couple healthy.”
  • Make an appointment for sex.
  • Send the kids to spend the night with their grandparents. 
  • Look for ways that you can do things differently. For example, have sex in a room where you have never had sex before. 
  • Ask your partner what he or she has always wanted to do and then fulfill his or her fantasies. 

     Money is often the root of some evil in a relationship. We all bring our own values and perspectives to how we think about and deal with money:
  • Acknowledge what the other person brings to the relationship. For example, one of you may be a saver. If you are a spender, acknowledge the fact that saving for the future is a very good idea. 
  • If you are a saver, recognize the fact that life can be more enjoyable when you do some of the things that your partner likes to do.
  • Have regular meetings to talk about money and share decisions about how to deal with it.

Household Chores 

     Couples cannot always come to an agreement over the household chores, but you can address it this way:
  • “Write all the jobs down and agree on who does what,” says author Paulette Kouffman-Sherman. 
  • If you would rather spend time cleaning the inside of the house and your partner likes to take care of the yard, divide the chores that way. 
  • If neither of you wants to do any housework, you might decide to invest in a good housekeeper. 

     Couples who do not have trust in their relationships have a major problem, but it is not insurmountable. If your partner is having trouble trusting you, do the following:
  • Ease his or her mind by being where you say you are going to be. 
  • Never tell a lie. You may be tempted to avoid a fight, but this is not a good idea. You want to always be honest with someone who believes he or she has reason not to trust you. 
  • Your partner may act irrational from time to time, but the best strategy is to remain calm.
  • Seek professional help. Deep trust issues often lead to marriage break-up.
    Couples who work on their issues together normally form a stronger bond which can lead to a deeper level of intimacy and trust. If you and your partner are having difficulty in one or more of the above-mentioned issues,  try the above techniques and see if they don't help your relationship.