Never Too Old for Friends: How to Make New Friends as an Adult

Do you remember how easy it used to be to make friends? In grade school, the first person you shared a crayon with became your best friend. In college, between the group projects, sports games, and campus activities, it was practically impossible to have less than a dozen close friends.

At what age does it suddenly become difficult to make new friendships and why? 

Believe it or not, the amount of opportunities that you have to make friends doesn’t decrease with age. What does change, however, is your mindset. The older we get the more we get into our own heads about potential rejection and how others see us. That fear can cause you to isolate and never make the first step in initiating a new friendship - leaving you even more isolated in the end.

Here are 3 easy steps to follow that can help you make new friends as an adult.

1. Surround Yourself with Potential Friends - Put yourself in situations where you are surrounded by people who have similar interests or hobbies and become “a regular” there. If you love animals then take your dog to the same dog park each week, if you enjoy exercise then commit to going to the gym at the same time every day, or even just read a book at the same coffee shop once a week and see what happens.

2. Make a List of Potential Friends - After spending enough time at those places you’ll meet quite a few new people. Take note of who you feel a connection with, who do you find most easy to talk to and who do you think could be a good fit for a potential future friendship.

3.Make the First Move - Here’s the big scary part, it’s time to initiate! Give yourself a homework assignment to text each of the people on your list to set up a time to get together. It doesn’t have to be anything dramatic, it can be a quick drink at happy hour or a morning coffee near work.


The idea of simply asking someone to get coffee can feel as overwhelming as being asked to move a mountain. If you need someone to walk alongside you as you navigate the world of adult friendships, email me at leemiller.therapist@gmail.com or call my office at (310) 614-0323