Roses are everywhere, there are pink candy hearts at every grocery store checkout line, and love is officially in the air! Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and for anyone not in a relationship, all the decorations and fanfare can very quickly turn from romantic to repulsive. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. Valentine’s Day isn’t just for couples anymore, it’s for everyone who loves to celebrate love - which should be all of us! Enjoying Valentine’s Day as a single person may sound easier said than done. For all of you who don’t have a date this year, here are a few simple do’s and don'ts that will help you enjoy the holiday to the fullest.
DON’T:
Don’t feel bad - Don’t let yourself wallow in depression and feel bad about being single. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single - it isn’t a commentary on your self worth, it is not a statement about how love-able you are, it is simply a part of life and there are a lot of things that you can do while you’re single that you may miss one day when you’re not. Enjoy everything that’s wonderful about being single and don’t feel bad about it!Don’t make others feel bad - Everyone knows that person who puts others down because they don’t feel good about themselves. Even if you are struggling with feeling good about being single this year, don’t let yourself take that hurt out on others to try and make the pain go away. It doesn’t work and it ends up just making you feel worse in the end.
Don’t wish for something that isn’t your reality - Being single is not a permanent state of being, you’ll most likely be in a loving relationship one day and you don’t want to look back and see all the time you wasted wishing to be somewhere you’re not. Enjoy the day as you are today, single, and trust that it is exactly where you’re supposed to be for now.
DO:
Do Celebrate with friends - Valentine’s day is all about spending time with people you love, who better to spend the evening with than a bunch of your friends! Get out of the house and celebrate the day by trying a new restaurant, going dancing, or even hosting a party!
Do Hand Out Valentines - Just because you’re out of grade-school doesn’t mean you can’t hand out Valentine’s Day cards anymore. You don’t have to go buy little Spongebob Valentine's cards with candy hearts to hand out (although, I don’t think anyone would turn those down!). Rather, send a thoughtful text to a handful of friends who you haven’t talked to in a while telling them how much you appreciate their friendship. A little goes a long way when it comes to words of affirmation.
Do Practice gratitude - Whether or not you are happy with your current relationship status, there are so many things in life to be grateful for. This year, try waking up on February 14th and writing down 14 things you are grateful for. Keep that list with you and refer back to it as often as you can throughout the day, acknowledging out loud each thing you’ve listed. You’ll be surprised by just how content you feel when you lay down at the end of the day.
Holidays, in general, can be very difficult for many people, especially a holiday like Valentine’s Day. If you find yourself struggling with being single and the thought of actually enjoying Valentine’s Day seems impossible, I’d love to connect to help you discover what may lie beneath those emotions. You can email me at leemiller.therapist@gmail.com or call my office at (310) 614-0323.
