The Downfalls of Over-Sharing and Emotional Texting

We all have that one distant relative - you know, the one who fleshes out their pettiness and drama through a long Facebook post, passive aggressive subtweet or novel-length text. If all of that sounds foreign to you, I have news for you: you may be that person!

With our ever-evolving digital world, so much of our communication is performed on a distant platform of social media, email, texting etc. While these are wonderful tools and mediums to use to stay connected to one another, they can also be a double-edged sword causing more destruction and harm than we even realize.

Here are two downfalls to be aware of as you craft your next social media post, text, email:

1.     There is a negative Impact in not being able to hear tone and intent
A sentence you type can feel completely innocuous to you, but another person can read it with an absolutely opposite tone than you intended. Communication is more than just the words we say - it is the inflection, facial expressions, emotion, and body language. Nearly all of those elements are lost when you aren't face-to-face. No need to filter everything you say through the lens of fearing you'll offend somebody,but be aware when someone else misconstrues something you post and be open to a dialogue about your intent.
2.     Drama and misunderstandings are by-products of emotionally driven thoughts.
If you are feeling your heart rate rise and face becoming flushed, that is your body informing you that you are being emotionally triggered. In this state, the brain automatically goes into "flight or fight" mode and the stable, reasoning portion of your brain turns off. This is a dangerous place to be if you become reactive. It can translate to drama and misunderstandings if you make your internal dialogue exposed while in this state.

If anything, live by the following rules and you can save yourself (and others) a lot of heartache and misunderstanding.

Before you post, ask yourself these types of questions:
·       Am I emotionally triggered right now and being reactive?
·       If I gave it 24 hours, would I be responding differently at a later time?
·       Is expressing this charged thought worth the clean up on the other side?
·       Does this warrant an interpersonal conversation?
·       Am I being petty?

Sometimes, breaking these patterns can be difficult. If you want to have someone to process it out loud with, feel free to reach out to me for an appointment. You can either email me at or call my office at (310) 614-0323.