We all have that one
distant relative - you know, the one who fleshes out their pettiness and drama
through a long Facebook post, passive aggressive subtweet or novel-length text.
If all of that sounds foreign to you, I have news for you: you may be that
person!
With our ever-evolving
digital world, so much of our communication is performed on a distant platform
of social media, email, texting etc. While these are wonderful tools and
mediums to use to stay connected to one another, they can also be a double-edged
sword causing more destruction and harm than we even realize.
Here are two downfalls
to be aware of as you craft your next social media post, text, email:
1.
There
is a negative Impact in not being able to hear tone and intent
A sentence you type can feel completely innocuous to you, but another person can read it with an absolutely opposite tone than you intended. Communication is more than just the words we say - it is the inflection, facial expressions, emotion, and body language. Nearly all of those elements are lost when you aren't face-to-face. No need to filter everything you say through the lens of fearing you'll offend somebody,but be aware when someone else misconstrues something you post and be open to a dialogue about your intent.
A sentence you type can feel completely innocuous to you, but another person can read it with an absolutely opposite tone than you intended. Communication is more than just the words we say - it is the inflection, facial expressions, emotion, and body language. Nearly all of those elements are lost when you aren't face-to-face. No need to filter everything you say through the lens of fearing you'll offend somebody,but be aware when someone else misconstrues something you post and be open to a dialogue about your intent.
2.
Drama
and misunderstandings are by-products of emotionally driven thoughts.
If you are feeling your heart rate rise and face becoming flushed, that is your body informing you that you are being emotionally triggered. In this state, the brain automatically goes into "flight or fight" mode and the stable, reasoning portion of your brain turns off. This is a dangerous place to be if you become reactive. It can translate to drama and misunderstandings if you make your internal dialogue exposed while in this state.
If you are feeling your heart rate rise and face becoming flushed, that is your body informing you that you are being emotionally triggered. In this state, the brain automatically goes into "flight or fight" mode and the stable, reasoning portion of your brain turns off. This is a dangerous place to be if you become reactive. It can translate to drama and misunderstandings if you make your internal dialogue exposed while in this state.
If anything, live by
the following rules and you can save yourself (and others) a lot of heartache
and misunderstanding.
Before you post, ask
yourself these types of questions:
·
Am I emotionally
triggered right now and being reactive?
·
If I gave it 24 hours,
would I be responding differently at a later time?
·
Is expressing this
charged thought worth the clean up on the other side?
·
Does this warrant an
interpersonal conversation?
·
Am I being petty?
Sometimes, breaking
these patterns can be difficult. If you want to have someone to process it out
loud with, feel free to reach out to me for an appointment.
You can either email me at leemiller.therapist@gmail.com or call my office at
(310) 614-0323.
