New Year, New Everything: How to Deal with Change



Everyone knows the phrase “New Year, New You” and I’m sure you’ve been hearing it more often than you may like lately. It can be a great phrase that inspires us to take control of our lives and be the change we want to see in the world. However, some of you may be looking into 2020 and seeing a whole lot of change that you didn’t ask for and may not even want.


Whether it’s a relationship ending, job transition, moving cities, or any number of different shifts in your life, change can be uncomfortable, especially if it’s not you initiating it.


If you find yourself facing a sea of new things in the upcoming year and are feeling anxious about all the shifts in your life, here are a few tips to help you embrace change and move into the new year smoothly.

  1. Don’t stress out about stressing out - Did you know that your reaction to stress has a greater impact on your health than the stress itself? According to studies on the effects of stress in the body, the way we view stress is the real determining factor of your health. When you find yourself stressing about the upcoming change, don’t freak out. Ask yourself what positive impact these feelings can have on you. Try to lean into the feelings of stress and use them as a motivator to take action and take charge of the situation.
  2. Celebrate the positives and grieve the losses - Change is almost never fully good or fully bad. Just like everything else in life, it’s a mixture of it all. Take a moment to appreciate all of the positive things that accompany the change in your life but also take a moment to grieve the loss of what is no more. Maybe you’re in the midst of ending a long term relationship this year - embrace the positive change that is coming with this fresh start but don’t forget to allow yourself to mourn the loss of what was such an important part of your life.
  3. Determine what you can control and let go of the rest - There is a quote by Maya Angelou that I absolutely love: “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude”. I think that is such a great way to approach change. Determine what you can control and take charge to achieve the outcome you want. However, you must also realize that you can’t control everything and there will always be things that you simply need to let go of. Letting go of control doesn’t mean giving up - you can always work to view the situation through a new lens which may help you to organically change your attitude towards it as well. 

2020 is bound to have new and exciting adventures for all of us. Many of these adventures will be positive but some of them may be difficult. It is always good to have someone accompanying you on these adventures to help guide you through the ups and downs. If you would like to connect to reflect on your past year and establish a plan to support a successful year to come, you can email me at leemiller.therapist@gmail.com or call my office at (310) 614-0323.