There is a reason that Superheroes are only in comic books… because they are fiction, pretend, “make believe,” not real, made up stories, aka outside of reality.
I know, that seems pretty obvious to say and someone would be juvenile to think that a mere man could stop a comet from plummeting towards Earth at record speed just with his muscles and power of will. Yet, when it comes to our standards and expectations, it can feel like men are expected to be it all / do it all / have it all. Similarly to comparing yourself to a comic book writer’s fantasy, it can be not only exhausting but disappointing to constantly compare yourself to someone who is “super human.”
Being a 21st Century male you may feel your own self-doubt or compare yourself to your colleagues or the measuring stick of society that requires you to be rich, smart, handsome, successful, and a romantic husband, wonderful father, dutiful brother, fun uncle, on top of a supporting child to your own aging parent. Just writing that paragraph tired me!
So, how can you give yourself grace and not crush under the pressures of expectation?
The first step is self compassion.
Give yourself a break. You can’t be everything to everyone. Know that you are doing your best with the circumstances you have and believe that showing up is half the battle.
Next, I’d recommend setting healthy boundaries.
You don’t have to respond immediately to every single text that comes your way asking for something. Taking care of yourself first helps you be prepared to take care of those around you.
Lastly, remind yourself that you are good enough.
Take a break, you deserve it. Go on a weekend trip with friends, it will recharge you. Delegate tasks that others can do so it frees your mind to focus on the bigger priorities.
If any of these items above are difficult for you, I’d love to talk with you more about what is causing that internal blockage of self care. Feel free to call my office and book an appointment - I’m always happy to help.
