“I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could've been any clearer
If they wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change”
- Michael Jackson
The song “Man in the Mirror” is arguably one of the greatest songs about self-accountability and ownership. Yet, responsibility is easier said than done especially when it comes to emotions. If you are struggling with self-regulation, hare are some mantras you can hold on to as you have big emotions rise up in your body:
ANGER - I can pause, give myself a moment and step outside the room until I can respond more logically instead of reacting.
DISCOURAGED - I will be kind to myself and trust that I am doing my best with the knowledge I have and the circumstances I am in.
INSECURE - I can appreciate that I am a work in progress and the goal is not perfection but acceptance of my ownership.
STRESSED - I will breathe, take a moment for myself, and trust that it will all work out.
LONELY - I can reach out and text a friend letting them into my vulnerability and ask them for their support.
Sometimes these action steps can feel like climbing mountains. In that case, let me recommend speaking with a certified therapist about which of those emotions is the most difficult for you to manage. Therapy is a great tool for identifying our own personal triggers and using coping strategies to work through them. You already took the first step, which is acknowledgement and self-reflection, so know that self-regulation is possible too.