Looking at the Man (or Woman) in the Mirror


“I'm starting with the man in the mirror

I'm asking him to change his ways

And no message could've been any clearer

If they wanna make the world a better place

Take a look at yourself and then make a change”
- Michael Jackson

The song “Man in the Mirror” is arguably one of the greatest songs about self-accountability and ownership. Yet, responsibility is easier said than done especially when it comes to emotions. If you are struggling with self-regulation, hare are some mantras you can hold on to as you have big emotions rise up in your body:

ANGER - I can pause, give myself a moment and step outside the room until I can respond more logically instead of reacting.

DISCOURAGED - I will be kind to myself and trust that I am doing my best with the knowledge I have and the circumstances I am in.

INSECURE - I can appreciate that I am a work in progress and the goal is not perfection but acceptance of my ownership.

STRESSED - I will breathe, take a moment for myself, and trust that it will all work out.

LONELY - I can reach out and text a friend letting them into my vulnerability and ask them for their support.

Sometimes these action steps can feel like climbing mountains. In that case, let me recommend speaking with a certified therapist about which of those emotions is the most difficult for you to manage. Therapy is a great tool for identifying our own personal triggers and using coping strategies to work through them. You already took the first step, which is acknowledgement and self-reflection, so know that self-regulation is possible too.