There are reasons that cliches are cliches… because there typically is some age-old truth in them. So, the old adage of “in order to have a friend, you need to be a friend” has stood the test of time for a reason.
It can be easy to look around you and wonder where are “your people” but first ask yourself are you that type of person? Are you being the kind of friend you would like to have?
Here are some suggestions for showing you care to those individuals in your life:
- Write them a handwritten letter about a quality they hold that you admire
- Keep a note in your phone when they casually mention their favorite sweet treat or something they’ve had their eye on purchasing
- Set a reminder on your phone that recurs annually the week before their birthday to help you remember to get a gift
- Shoot them a quick “thinking of you” text
- Initiate plans and take care of the details
- Listen to them when they speak and ask thoughtful follow up questions
- Ask them specifically how they would like to be loved. There is nothing worse than hitting a bullseye on the wrong target.
I want to clarify these are suggestions for life-giving friendships that are built on equality, support, and respect. If you feel like you are giving 100% of the effort 100% of the time then reevaluating that friendship may be something to consider. If you aren’t sure where to begin, a licensed therapist can help you process and talk it through.
Relationships are the most precious currency we have as humans, be sure you are both investing in and withdrawing from people who are worth your time.