We all have that one friend…
The one who has the capacity of SuperWoman. Who can work out at 5:00am then be home to make a healthy breakfast, drop the kids off at school, then go to her corporate job, taking an afternoon coffee break with a girlfriend to catch up on life, then home for “family time” before doing it all over again. You may scratch your head and think “How does she do it? Having it all with the partner, family, job, etc.”
First of all, let me pop that bubble of expectation and let you know things are never what they seem on the outside. You may never hear about the fight she had with her spouse the night prior or see the dried cheerios on the ground that only get swept up once a week. Few people show you outside of their “highlight reel” that social media can perpetuate. But, believe me, as a therapist I can assure you everyone has non-glamorous aspects to their life!
But, it is also true that that woman may be killing it in this season of her life. She may have put in disciplines and practices to ensure she is her best self showing up for herself, her family, and her friends. In that case - go her! We want to applaud people who are able to maintain a life they don’t need a vacation from.
Yet, even if that is the case, even your “strong friends” need friends. They may take you out to coffee and talk all about you, but deep down inside they would love for you to ask them how they are doing - really doing. They may be the ones to plan the best girls’ night out, but would love to exhale and have someone else take the reins or initiate the scheduling once in a while. Just because someone is good at something doesn’t mean they should do it all the time.
Now, who came to mind when I listed out SuperWoman’s attributes above? Take this as your reminder to reach out to her, check in on her, and see how she is doing.